Before this week, I would never follow my impulses or act on them like I should, but after working on a few exercises where impulsivity is the name of the game, I now know to trust my instincts whether they are right or wrong and I understand more about the rest of the company and where their impulses lie. This was the first week of the process that I've felt like I've been able to be myself and no one would be judging me for it, I've also had a lot of fun letting loose and finding out so much more about my strengths and how to take on all of the information we've learnt about castings and auditions and how to put those methods into the games we've touched on this week, as they could be used in a workshop.
My favourite exercise that we did this week was dodgeball. At first I wasn't sure whether this would be good to help us work on our instincts but after playing a round, I realised there were so many components in this game where you have to rely on your gut. You aren't able to linger and think for a long time about where you want the ball to end up, you just have to make that decision in a split second and wherever it lands, you then have to make another quick choice and you keep going until the game is over. As we were playing I was linking this back to the auditions and castings we've looked at so far this term and how the panel can make a decision about you as soon as you walk through the door, before you've said anything and way before you've had a chance to perform. It's very important to make a good first impression by being able to show your personality but also making sure you show that you are punctual and disciplined, as well as being kind and respectful to the people around you. This was the first task since joining this company that I've felt any kind of leadership skill I have being shown, as I enjoyed getting the team together and working out tactics and what we could do to win the game, and also looking at the strengths an weaknesses of the opposing team. When we decided to take it to another level and play doctor dodgeball, I was given the role of the doctor as the rest of the team thought I was so little that they could protect me better. I thought this also linked to casting as I've always thought of my size as something that lets me down, but it could actually play in my favour and it means my playing age can be younger than everyone elses in the company, another individual trait to add to what is unique about me. I really enjoyed this exercise and it made me think about a lot of things that I do well and things that I need to do more of, and this was the first time this process where I've fulled trusted my instincts!
Something I didn't particularly enjoy this week was the game where when we were given a number, that many people had to stand up and we had to remember the pattern that we all stood up in. At first I found it very easy to remember the pattern but as I began to follow my gut and stand up when the time felt right, I lost track of the amount of times I stood up and who with. This frustrated me and I let that feeling take over my concentration and there were many moments where I completely lost the plot and I was happy when we started a new round, but I eventually regained my focus and found the perfect method to keep me on the right path for the rest of the game. I felt that this, the first time I tried listening to my impulses, led to me being frustrated and it did put me off for the rest of the day but I told myself that I shouldn't give up and there would be many chances throughout the rest of the week for me to show well I cope under pressure, unfortunately this wasn't the exercise for me but I know I have the ability to try something new later on and I may enjoy it a lot more.
This has been my favourite part of the process so far because it's challenged me and been very enjoyable at the same time, I've felt like its been our chance to bond as a company and learn how all of us react to tasks like these and how well we cope under pressure. After this week, I feel so much more comfortable with the people around me and I know they are meant to be judging and even though I follow my instincts and it may end up being the wrong decision, this is the perfect place to make these mistakes!
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