I was very excited to come back to Miskin this year but it wasn't until our first week that I realised how difficult this next year would be. During this week, I found so many differences to my experiences on the level 3 course and I felt that the work and discipline being put into level 4 was a lot more professional and even though we have spoken a lot about the industry in our previous years, this first term is dedicated to getting us ready for it and what to actually expect if you want to pursue acting professionally. We have busted so many myths about auditions and castings in this first week and I'm learning new things everyday, about myself and about the industry, and it is very hard being corrected over every little detail, even the things I've never thought about before when we were looking at auditions last year. One of my goals for this year is to be more open about what drama schools I would like to audition for and put more effort into my self tapes and auditions using all of the techniques we have learnt by the end of this first process. I also want to make sure I don't leave my applications too late this year as I felt like we didn't get much time to work on them due to Christmas show, but knowing that our first term focuses on getting us ready for these auditions will be a lot more helpful in getting us prepared for another difficult process.
I have really struggled this week with getting back into the routine of being at Miskin and feeling motivated enough to be at my best, and I haven't felt like I've showcased my best work so far. I've been very disappointed with my attitude this week as I felt like I had taken a massive step backwards and hadn't showcased how much I have improved at putting my voice in the room and making sure my opinions and thoughts are heard when we are in a game or a workshop, I was really impressed with the stage I was at during my previous year at Miskin, and going into the first year of level 4 made me feel like I was back in first year feeling vulnerable and afraid to put my voice in the room. I want to correct this over the coming weeks and show the company that I have come a long way since first year and I feel ready to take on a new and more challenging year. Speaking of the company, I feel like we haven't gelled yet and as part of this process, I hope we can develop ways where we feel like an ensemble and are able to work together and know each other so well, to the point where we understand what everyone's thinking and what we're all about to say. Since this process is a lot more individual and we are focused on working on ourselves, I hope we end the term by working towards a performance of some kind so we can start to feel like a real theatre company by the end of the term.
I was very disappointed with how I performed this week but I know that the more I start to feel comfortable with the new process and our company, I can come out of my shell and start showing everyone how much I have developed as an actor and I am ready for the next stage in my training.
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